Idiot Sportsmen Triumph over Wily Redfish in Bayou
Grand Isle, Louisiana... Under the expert guidance of renowned Louisiana fishing guide, Captain Zutie, the Idiot Sportsmen (IS) spent the day, by their own account, "dropping pinpoint perfect casts into the eddies and currents of the secret spots where skittish redfish feed in the grass along the marsh islands deep in the wilderness of the Bayou."
Captain Zutie had no immediate comment and merely stared straight ahead as he steered his boat back towards the marina at top speed.
"It's all in the wrist," commented IS member Mark Levy, the most original-thinking and quotable of the famous threesome, as he opened the boat's cooler to survey the hard-earned day's catch of fifteen redfish, which he personally estimated to be 20 to 30 pounds each (photo, above left).
"You've got to know how to read the water," added Bart Marshall, shouting above the wind and engine noise while expertly keeping the pressure on his bandage, "and to make that cast to the exact right spot."
"It's a subtle thing and it takes a keen eye," agreed Chuck Bunce, tapping his temple knowingly with the point of a filet knife. "These fish are not stupid."
As the boat approached civilization once again, they noticed considerable activity on one of the private piers along the shore. On closer inspection it appeared that a bunch of kids were catching big redfish right off their pier. A lot of them.
Zutie allowed as how the redfish "Sure are stacked up in there, all right," and after much badgering from the IS finally agreed to set the boat to drift closer to the pier so the IS might get in on the action. Eagerly breaking out the rods again they started casting in that direction, but it was not to be. All the IS got was a better view of several ten-year-olds pulling in huge redfish one right after the other as fast as their little hands could reel.
Deflated but unbowed, the Idiot Sportsmen later posed proudly at the marina with their catch and that evening celebrated the day in their usual fashion -- hedonistic overindulgence.
Interviewed the next day, Captain Zutie expressed no regrets at having bucked conventional wisdom by accepting the IS charter, and stressed that neither he nor his boat had suffered any major damage as a result of his association with the Idiot Sportsmen.
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